woah.

I've blogged a lot this month. 

Maybe this is becoming a trend for me? I don't mind. Anyways, If you haven't heard of Pandora radio, then this is for you. Pandora radio is an internet radio in which you can choose an artist and it will play songs by that artist and songs by other artists that sound like the one you picked. Its pretty sweet. Apparently its not new either; I definitely thought it was, Aaron showed it to me about a month ago but everybody else I talked to about it already knew about it. I am disappointed in them for not telling me about it, so I won't hold back and I will let you know. Go check it out!

www.pandora.com

the Jack Johnson station is one of my favorites:)

appreciative-ness

I think we all need to do a better job of letting each other know that we appreciate them. 
Maybe you don't know how or why you appreciate someone, but you kept them in your life for some reason, so just say "hey! I appreciate you" 
Eventually, if you look for it, you'll be able to give them an exact reason as to why. 




and if you're reading this, I appreciate you. Just for the simple fact that you cared enough, or were bored enough, to click the link and read my blog. Thanks! <3

Here's the thing

Life scares the crap out of me. This post is going to be a complete and random contradiction to the last but thats just how my mind works. 

There is so much happening in these past and next few months that I don't think I'm ready for. 

38 days from now, I will be graduating high school. I really don't know how I feel about that. I guess its sorta bittersweet. I want so badly to be out of school, and to leave the immaturity and everything else that comes along with high school. But am I ready? Am I mature enough to be out of high school? Do I even honestly know what I want to do with my life. Lately I've played it off like I've got everything all figured out, but I don't. I don't think I ever will, or really, that I'm ever supposed to. But I do need to know what the next step is. I'm pretty sure it will be Catalyst. But therein lies tons of other issues. #1 is that my parents don't want me to go. They don't really believe that being in ministry is an important thing, it also doesn't make much money. But really, I don't care about making money. Ask anyone and they will tell you that I hate money, which I will get into on a later date, but nonetheless, I want to go to Catalyst because I want to learn more, I want to feel secure in my knowledge about God, and I want to lead other kids who are in the same boat as me. I don't know for sure if I want to be a pastor later on or if I want to be a well educated leader, but I've got time to decide. #2 is I really feel like i need to move out of my parent's house. They don't support me, they've only consented to paying for Catalyst because it is substantially cheaper than Cal State Fullerton (who never even sent a rejection letter, they just forgot about me or something), They continuously tell me that I am ruining my life and that I will never be successful. They rate success on money, I rate it on happiness. We don't see eye to eye, and they can't handle that. Anyways, if I move out, will they pay? probably not. If I move out, it will be more out of spite than anything. I don't think that will work too well. 

I'm 18. That means so much, yet so little at the same time. Life is coming up fast. I don't think I'm ready for that. 

The best thing about life..

is that is has just begun. 

No matter how old you are, no matter how much time you think you've got left on the earth, no matter how much you try to disagree with that statement, its true. There is always a chance for a new beginning, always a chance to change who you've become, what you've done or how you've lived. Its called grace, or even more simply stated, a new day. Annie wasn't lying when she sang, "the sun will come up tomorrow." 

Its a crazy concept to grasp, trust me, I know, but dwelling on anything is not going to get you anywhere. Life happens, move on. I may be a little brash on this subject, but I hate dwelling in the past. I hate the past in general. Granted, it is what brought everyone to today, but everyone has their times in the past that they wish they would have done differently. Too many times people judge themselves and others on what happened in the past, and it hinders their future. 

Stop living in the past. Stop thinking about it. Stop judging others and yourselves because of it. There are things in my past that I wish I would have done differently, there are probably things in your past that I wish you had done differently, and you may or may not agree with me. I truly believe that everything we go through in life is purposeful. Everything you go through in life teaches you something. Its all preparation for the future. 

Start focusing on the future. Thats what matters most. There is only so much we can focus on and only so much we can handle at one time. Focus on the now and on the tomorrow. Always. 

Because the best thing about life is that it has just begun. 

Its funny how

nothing is ever as it seems. How something can be perfect one day and then within hours fall apart till there is nothing left of it. All of it lies in how we deal with things and situations that God puts before us. I learned today that our worst enemy isn't the devil, we give him too much credit. Our worst enemy is ourselves. We don't let God win in some situations because we are lazy, because we don't have the drive, because we feel that there is something else we should do. Most of that isn't at the devil's fault, its what we've been taught in a society that tells us that it is all for us, its all about "me." The worst thing about hearing that is the fact that its true. So many people have too much pride to admit it, but that in itself is you getting in the way of God. Almost every christian is living the lukewarm life. Revelations 3 says to either be hot or cold, for God will spit you out if you are lukewarm. too many people are lukewarm, they're not fully for God, but they're also not fully not for God. thats the worst thing though, thats what He hates most. That is me. That is my boyfriend, and that is also most of my friends. Being a christian is hard. So hard, that we get turned off by making sacrifices and ignoring urges. Which leads us further down. We stop making sacrifices, we take hold of the urges, and then its harder to crawl out of the hole.

The worst part of that hole, is when the people you love are in it with you, and they refuse to get out. 

When they continue to dig it deeper, making it harder for you to get out.

When they reject the rope that God throws down to help.

When you know that grabbing the rope and getting yourself out, leaving them behind is the worst thing you could do.