Mixed emotions

I dont quite know where to start. I recently had to write a personal narrative for my language arts class and I chose to write about my past summer and the friends that I lost. It was six pages of really emotional spilling. It was also the first time I ever told the full story. It was also the only time I really thought about all that has happened.
I thought it was the end of the world, I thought I had nowhere else to go, I thought life was over. It sucked. But now, in retrospect, I wouldn't change any aspect of my life. This past year God has introduced me to so many great people, including Himself. I never thought I'd get to this junction in life. I never even imagined that the people I know now exist.
I got really into it and realized that stuff like that has to happen in order to teach us who we really are. The past 5 years of my life was the typical Jr. High, High School experience; being a teenager trying to find her place in the world. I found it, finally, and I've learned from the past in ways I would have never imagined, but today, I feel like I still have some growing up to do.
Starting with: I need to get over my immature crush, I need to get over the fact that I need someone by my side. I need to realize that everything everyone was saying about him... well they were right. I need to get over the fact that I will see him every day of my life for probably a long time coming. I got too into him, but he doesn't care. He never will. All I really want at this point is once again, to know that I have a place in this world, because I seem to have lost it again.

"Am I lost, or just less found?"-Brooke Fraser.