Body:
wrote a novel. and it felt oh so good. I am in love with life, my friends, my Savior, and my family. Today has been the most emotionally straining day in awhile, but it has made me sure that God is even greater than I thought. He has blessed me with so much more than I could ever hope for. He has shown me true love in the most unlikely ways. He has given me patience to get through the trying times. He has made me believe that there truly is something bigger planned for me. When I begged him, on my knees, completely broken, crying out to Him to take me away, to bring me to Heaven, to allow me to be with who I though was the only one who still loved me, He kept me here, and I realized that there is no way I could have left this world. Although it sucks sometimes, we are all here for a reason, and that reason is so much bigger than we can grasp. I look back to that time 5 months ago and I see that I have already been shown a glimpse of what is in store for me. I have already experienced some reasons for my living on this earth. I have been shown part of the purpose of my life. God is the most selfless, understanding, loving person. He knows so much more that you may think. Pray to him, ask him for anything at all, and if He wills it, He will give it to you. But sometimes we ask him for things that He doesn't will, and we become angry when He doesn't deliver. But who ever said he didn't deliver? What He gives us may not be exactly what we ask for, but that's because He knows what your future will be, and everything He does for you is only to benefit you in the end. He gives you a different answer than you've been expecting and sometimes it takes awhile for us to find it. His timing may also be different than ours. When we ask for the love of our life to come tomorrow, but they don't show up for another few years. Thats because God knows what we will be going through, and he knows what we can handle in certain times and what we cant. He knows our maturity levels and our emotional tolerances and our moods at any given moment; He understands us way more than we ever will. I don't think I could have ever imagined that my life would be where it is right now, and thats the beauty of it all. We have no stinking idea, yet He knows absolutely every moment we will face. We are in good hands, and nothing will change that. I really wish that was easier to grasp. Sometimes we forget that everything is handled, and we freak out. We try to take things into our control and it doesn't work out the way we've planned, because, well, our plan may just be different than God's plan. We just need to learn how to let His plan win. We need to pray for him to line up our desires and plans with His will. This isn't the novel that I mentioned above, This well, I did not intend to write any of this, It just happened. I was just going to tell you about how great I think life is, but yaknow, it happens. I guess. haha I love you for reading through it all, and I hope it held some sort of meaning for you :)
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