I've spent a great time of my life in Colorado, my dad's parents have lived out here since I was born and his brother and his girlfriend moved out here about 10 years ago (they've since gotten married and had a kid, so now his niece lives out here too).
Most of the times that I've spent out here have been quite the enjoyable experience. Granted, I don't remember much from the early years, but from what I remember, said trips have always been good.
Not until my cousin was born did I realize how much it bugs me being here. It may have something to do with the fact that I've grown in age and, arguably, maturity, or it may be that my aunts "better" side has come out with bearing a child.
I'm trying to be the least bit judgmental here, but these people really do drive my up a wall at times. Within the last two years, I've spent time out here without my parents, and a few without my sister as well. My aunt and uncle already don't have any problem with sharing their opinions, no matter how offensive they may be, but with my parents absent, they're even more willing to do so. While being as nice as possible, I'm going to be blunt-their very narrow minded, dramatic, stubborn and selfish, and they don't care what anybody else thinks. I guess the nicest way to explain them would be "hard to deal with" so I'll stick with that.
In the past year and a half that I've been involved heavily with church, they've been even harder to deal with. You see, they're very anti-religion; and believe me, they've made that VERY clear. I'm broken about it every day, but I realize that they've been given the freedom to make their own choices and that their choice has been made. I respect that, I never talk about it, I never make any connections to anything about it, I never bring it up in any way, whatsoever, ever.
They never fail to bring it up though..
Over AIM not too long ago, I mentioned to my uncle that I was going to CBU, cause, well, I thought he would like to know what's going on in his niece's life. Buuut his response was.. "damn well dont be trying to convert us or any of that shit" Well, thanks for the enthusiasm and support, uncle.
This current trip has been quite manageable, God has been with me, helping me to stay peaceful and helping to silence the judgements that usually would pop into my head at any given moment, so that has been good. Tonight my sister and I decided that we would spend as much time as we could with them before we left, and that we would spend the night at their house rather than at our grandma's.
Turns out to not have been the best idea. I much rather prefer my Grandma's going to bed at 8pm and having the entire night left to do pretty much..nothing. We were all sitting watching TV, I had helped bathe the baby and read a story to her and left my aunt to finish the process of putting her to sleep, and everything was good. Until something about Sarah Palin came up.. how this connects is weird..i know. My aunt said
"Watch out for those people who use God for their own needs"
And my uncle quickly pointed at me.
I replied with,
"Alright, I haven't said anything about it!!"
Which was met with,
"Yeah but the second you do, I will kick your ass!" from my uncle.
And then he and my aunt sat there and lectured me on how stupid I was for "buying into it."
Then, Thank You God, my uncle got a work call that he had to take, and my aunt's brother called her.
But I was broken, and of course, I couldn't show them that it had affected me so, so I went to the bathroom and cried, and texted my mom and Bri. They both had encouraging words, and Bri sent me a prayer that she had said for me, and I was able to pull myself back together. It bugs me to no end that they can't have the respect to support their family in what each INDIVIDUAL choses to do. I respect their choices, why can't they respect mine. Back to the issue I have each time I can't understand something. Lame.
I pray every night that somehow, God will soften their hearts. That they will come to see the Truth, or at least that Jessica, their daughter will be shown sometime in her life. And that if she is, and if she choses to follow Him, that they have the respect to let her do so. If you could join me in that, I would greatly appreciate it. I need all the help I can get.
P.S. I'm in the bathroom right now to write this, because my uncle was reading my Facebook posts, so I didn't want to chance it, he'd just sit and lecture me some more. So here this is, to you, from me-while I sit on the toilet.
No comments:
Post a Comment